Saying you read Playboy for the articles is like saying you watch porn for the soundtrack. Continue reading Brown Chicken Brown Cow
Doofenshmirtz and I were reminiscing about the time I sent her to summer camp at the Flying G Ranch (local Christian camp) for horse riding lessons. She was 7. During a group meeting, one of the counselors took it upon himself to inform the kids that Santa Clause wasn’t real. (Yes, Virginia, there ARE assholes!) But this guy took a different tack than simply saying, … Continue reading Camp Anawanna Know The Truth
Just dropped my cell phone in guacamole. Didn’t notice until I answered a call. There’s gotta be an appropriate hashtag for that… Continue reading Accidentally Human Part VIII
So I connected my iPad to a Bose speaker via Bluetooth (I’m tech savvy like that), and put it in the bathroom so I could jam out while I showered. Maiden voyage: I chose the playlist “Purchased Songs” (which is pretty massive), and clicked “shuffle” (yes, I realized the risk, but I felt the Gods of Shuffle would be ever in my favor). I tapped … Continue reading How Long?
Right hand. Middle finger. Top joint. The side next to the pointer. There is a callous. I bet that if you are between the ages of 45 and death, you have a similar callous. Unless you are a lefty, so it’s on your left middle finger. Or if you were one of those weirdo kids who held their pens funny. I made fun of you … Continue reading Nature’s Bubble Wrap
The view from my window is different. I’m typically not a fan of change. So I did not change rooms with an open mind. But as I stretch out across the bed, in the tiny room, with the air conditioner cooling my feet, I stare out into the space between the buildings. In the morning, water drips in front of the window from an unknown … Continue reading Fireflies and other distractions
Whatever happened to socks with little balls at the heel? That was a great invention! Continue reading No balls