Screw the Roman Numerals. Tripped going up the front steps. Turned around to see if anyone noticed, and walked into a pole. Did someone move the earth? Continue reading Accidentally Human Part 9

It’s 110 degrees outside.  In the shade.  With sauna-esque humidity. I just discovered a leftover box of Popsicles from my grandson’s last visit.  Score! I now have cherry lips, cherry teeth, a cherry tongue, cherry fingers, a small patch of cherry on my chin, little cherry drips leading into (and, conveniently, out of) the garage, and a cherry stain (ironically shaped LIKE a cherry) on … Continue reading Dripping With Dis Stain

Everyone has entertained the question, “If you could have a super power, what would it be?” I think I usually answered, “To fly.”.  And I have.  Maybe not on my own steam, but in enough planes and helicopters and roller coasters.  So I can’t complain.  But I know sometimes I answered, “Invisibility.” I recently had a fairly detailed and intimate conversation with two complete strangers … Continue reading Great Expectations

Day One. I am curled up in my oversized chair, enjoying the quiet of the morning, sipping my cup of hot lemon water and wishing it were coffee. Soon, I will brew a batch of mint green tea to drink (iced) all day, and I will wish it were coffee. For breakfast, I will drop a landfill-bound straw into a semi-healthy, ersatz chocolate protein drink, … Continue reading Day One

You know it’s a lazy Sunday when making mac & cheese feels like “slaving all day over a hot stove.” Continue reading Too lazy for a title

I think all the items in my junk drawer need an appointment at Planned Parenthood.   Continue reading Junkrabbits

Just because I’m moody, doesn’t mean you’re not irritating. In other news, I cant seem to make it through the garage without getting a splinter in my middle finger.  Am I subconsciously flipping off random pieces of wood as I walk by? I’m headed to the quick shop for some PopTarts. Don’t judge. TGIF y’all. Continue reading Wooden Birds

So often, family is not about blood.  It’s about who we choose to be a permanent part of our life.  Real “family” sticks around for the messy stuff.  If you call them at 2 am, they don’t just answer the phone.  They show up… in their pajamas… and bring bail money, a shovel, an alibi, and all the time and love it takes to fix … Continue reading Burying the Body

I thought we had made up… become friends again. I enjoyed spending my nights with you, my bed with you.  You made me feel young again!  I actually believed you were a part of my life for the long haul. And then, just like that, you leave me! I will never again let you seduce me in a movie theater, or tease me on a … Continue reading The Break-Up