Fauxtography

Snapchat pisses me off. But I recognize true genius when I’m slapped in the bunny-face with it.

My first thought was, “I’m over 40 (okay, technically I’m over 50, but this applies to the over-40 crowd, so I feel justified using that description. Although I suppose I just shot myself in the old foot.  But I digress…) so I have no business playing with this stuff.”  But hey, where was this when I was 13?

My childhood was chock-full of pouring Elmer’s Glue into the center of plastic rulers and patiently waiting for it to dry, just so I could have long nails. Dressing up meant applying cherry Kool-Aid powder to my lips, spraying Sun-In in my hair, and digging out that ridiculously old (and smelly) makeup that the woman I babysat for had discarded (for good reason) and attempting to figure out where to apply it on my face. Then dealing with a weird rash later on.  Getting rid of zits meant dotting Clearasil all over my face before bed, and then dotting “skin-colored” (ha!) cover-up on them before picture day at school.   Wearing funky glasses or bunny ears and jamming out to a song never (I don’t care WHO you were, HOW good looking you were, or WHAT song was playing) looked cool.  Don’t believe me?  Just look up old videos of “hot” music groups from the ’70’s.  Walk away…nothing cool to see here.

My point is that while I really SHOULD be pissed off at Snapchat, I’m kinda not.  Those fancy filters that make me look like a mouse smooth out my wrinkles.  I’m a puppy, but I have no bags under my eyes.  I’m a kitten, and my skin is flawless.  I’m wearing bunny ears, and I’ve never looked more fresh.  Jamming out while wearing rainbow glasses? Yup, cool.  Weird, but still…it’s the best I’ve ever looked.

So while it may seem that Snapchat is catering to the Tween-to-Twenty-Nine crowd, my belief is that they are as sly as a fresh-faced, wrinkle-free fox.  Covergirl, you’ve got your work cut out for you.