I am so easily swayed by marketing when it comes to stuff to drink.
Exotic fruit combinations.
Anything “green tea”.
The addition of honey, herbs, spices or bacon (still bummed that Diet Coke didn’t think this was a good idea).
Pictures of juicy red cherries.
And of course, if it’s sugar-free, I’m sold. Because now it’s really good for me!
So I sent Doofenshmirtz on an errand to pick up some Black Cherry-flavored Sparkling Water (in a can). Which sounded amazing. The following conversation ensued:
Doof: Have you ever had those drinks before? I mean, really?
Me: Yes, I’m sure I have.
Doof: No, I don’t think you have.
Me: Whatever. I’m sure they taste delicious.
Doof: No. They tastes like you are drinking bubbly water, and someone shouts a fruit flavor from another room.
Doof: And did I tell you what Johnny did to my eggnog? And no, that’s not a euphemism.
*Later that day:
Doof: So, how was it?
Me: Totally tasted like someone shouted a fruit flavor from the house next door.