Things I’ve learned:

Bangs are almost always a bad idea.

Macaroni and Cheese may not fix everything, but it helps.

Sometimes the answer IS Tequila.

You can always start over. Always.

Spiders should never build their web at the bottom of my spaghetti pot

Often, the best answers begin with a joke.

Turns out, broken hearts can mend. Just not in the way you expect.

Even if you kill ’em with kindness, you need an alibi.

No matter how long you are on hold, you only have to pee at the moment the representative returns to the phone.

Goodbyes that last longer than 20 minutes are the sweetest.

The best part of a song always happens at the moment you pull up to the drive-thru speaker.

Unless you are at Disneyland, if you follow the crowd, the destination is rarely interesting.

Some people ARE a waste of skin.

And, there really ARE Super-Heroes…who show up when all hope seems lost…who save the day…who do the RIGHT thing, when all the other lemmings are flying off the cliff.