Wait For The Beep

New outgoing voicemail:

“You’ve reached Sandi’s phone. No way in hell she’s gonna answer today. If I were you, I’d hang up now. If you want to risk it, leave a message, but it better be full of compliments. Or, you can show up in person, but be sure to bring gifts including (but not limited to) alcohol, chocolate, Starbucks, money and/or more compliments.”