Goodbye

I had to say goodbye to you today.

And while I knew it was coming, I still wasn’t ready.

I took a picture of you. When I looked down at the screen, it was blurry. Maybe it was because I was crying. Was I crying? But you stood still for me while I took another picture. And then one more. You have always been so patient with me.

Yes, I’m crying.

You have given me some of the best memories of my life. You were so unexpected. I fell in love with you so easily. I couldn’t get enough of you. You have shown me so many wonderful things. I am certain my friends and family are sick of me talking about you. But you were special. Are special. You changed me. Forever.

In the year and a half we’ve been together, we’ve done so much. I tried to fill every moment, as though I knew it would end. I felt as though it would last forever, but in the back of my mind, there was this little bit of desperation. Like we had to do everything.

Everything.

We weren’t able to do everything. That would have taken forever. Was I greedy to want forever?

I don’t know if this goodbye is forever. I hope it isn’t. I do know that I will miss you. I will smile when I think of our adventures. And I will peek in on you from time to time. I am not ashamed to be a stalker. You have others in your life I know, and that’s okay. You were never meant to be alone. And I’ll be happy for them (no I won’t), and will enjoy hearing about you through them (okay, maybe I will).

So for now, I will head into the sunset.

Perhaps Hollywood holds my future heart.

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