So, if someone sends you a giant glass jar beehive candle, and it’s wrapped so well that when you try to unwrap it you accidentally stab yourself in the boob with scissors, and once you get it open it’s covered in honey butter (the candle, not your boob), which is slippery so you drop it on your toe, which may or may not be broken (your toe, not the candle) but you refuse to look until the wave of nausea passes…I ask you, what kind of stationary should you use for the thank-you card?

Asking for a friend…