During a recent visit to a public restroom, I discovered my roll of toilet paper was not locked in. When I pulled, it snapped off and hit the ground rolling… right under the door. Where, I’m guessing, a group of women stood there, looking down at it. I tried gently tugging on the end still in my hand, hoping to “reel it in”.  (You should … Continue reading On A Roll

Day Three at The Fairview Inn: The bathroom door in this room occasionally just opens. Which is spooky enough. But before it opens, it knocks three times. The last time it did that, I commented, “That’s wicked spooky. No, wait. That’s wicked wicked.” Cute boy, “Nope. You can’t use the wicked twice. It’s all-inclusive.” Continue reading Wicked Haunted

Second morning at The Fairview Inn: My eyes were still closed when I heard the cute boy mumble, “It’s wicked hot in here.” (giggle). I opened my mouth to croak, “Hey Siri!” No response. Louder, “HEY SIRI!” Still nothing. Remembering I had turned the volume down on my phone, I continued, assuming Siri had heard me, “Turn the ceiling fan the right direction.” Nothing. The … Continue reading Wicked Siri

First morning at The Fairview Inn: Our room faces east, so I woke up at 4:54 to catch the 5:06 sunrise. I stepped out onto the balcony…into the rain. There was no sunrise, but I stood there anyway, taking in the sound of gentle waves lapping against the rocks. Three seagulls entered from the left like crazy fighter pilots. I recognized the familiar seagull “yell” … Continue reading Let’s Be Frank

When I was 18, I ran away from home (yes, I realize that at 18 it’s not really “running away”, but stick with me). Mom and I had butted heads since I was 13, and I had reached my limit. Our family was stationed at Malmstrom AFB in Great Falls, Montana at the time. I had a friend pick me up and take me to … Continue reading The Best ID

In other news… I wonder what percentage of Nyquil is purchased in the middle of the night Continue reading Subber Code

This is for someone who is going through a difficult time. I use the word difficult like I know what it means.  But in this case, I do not. You are going through something unimaginable to me.  To most people. You are a writer.  So you write about it.  About life.  About your feelings.  You put yourself out there.  And I see you.  I know … Continue reading Therapy

Dear Tom, Thank you for becoming famous.  Thank you for your words.  Your music.  Thank you for knowing what I was going through growing up, and thank you for making your songs so timeless that it helps me through my days, even now that I’m older.  And thank you for making me NOT feel older. This morning I am learning to fly.  I am dancing … Continue reading Sometimes I’m Petty