I recently returned from an extended vacation.  While unpacking the ice chest, I grabbed an unopened bottle of wine and handed it to Doofenshmirtz, thanking her for house-sitting and taking care of the animals.

The next day, she came by the house to vent about a series of unfortunate events that had happened in her life.  She began to cry, and I tried to offer a piece of motherly advice (don’t judge).

“Doof”, I said (not really, because that’s totally not her name), “Go home and have a glass of wine and watch a few episodes of ‘The Office'”.

Sobbing, she cried out, “I finished it at 1 am this morning!”

I leveled my gaze at her, took a breath, and answered, “Sweetie, you may have a drinking problem if…”

She cut me off, “MOM!!!  THE OFFICE!  NOT THE WINE!  OH MY GOD!”