I recently returned from an extended vacation. While unpacking the ice chest, I grabbed an unopened bottle of wine and handed it to Doofenshmirtz, thanking her for house-sitting and taking care of the animals.
The next day, she came by the house to vent about a series of unfortunate events that had happened in her life. She began to cry, and I tried to offer a piece of motherly advice (don’t judge).
“Doof”, I said (not really, because that’s totally not her name), “Go home and have a glass of wine and watch a few episodes of ‘The Office'”.
Sobbing, she cried out, “I finished it at 1 am this morning!”
I leveled my gaze at her, took a breath, and answered, “Sweetie, you may have a drinking problem if…”
She cut me off, “MOM!!! THE OFFICE! NOT THE WINE! OH MY GOD!”