In the cavernous Terminal B of LaGuardia airport, there is a sound echoing periodically from around the corner. It sounds like a Pterodactyl (also, who approved the spelling of this poor creature’s name? Can you imagine his first day of school?)

Anyway, I assume it’s some sort of Jurassic Park exhibit, and disregard it. Until the noise boards the plane with me. This screeching toddler proceeds to delight passengers with his prehistoric flying reptile impersonation for 3 hours nonstop.

I’m pretty sure I overheard one girl call her doctor to make sure her birth control prescription was up to date.