Dear Justin, At least my toes are sexy.

Romance doesn’t flourish in exhaust-filled parking garages or bloom curbside at the airport.  Long hugs and lingering kisses are a thing of the past.  Now, they are monitored and in some cases, signs are posted regarding the amount of time allowed for public displays of affection. There used to be something special about walking off an airplane and scanning the waiting crowd until you found … Continue reading Dear Justin, At least my toes are sexy.

The Chocolate Fountain of Youth

I’ve found the fountain of youth.  Here are some hints for finding your way. Never eat a banana without answering it like a telephone. While gargling, release your inner Chewbacca. When someone asks, “What’s up?”, respond with, “Chicken butt.” Giggle every time someone says the word “duty”. Make duck-lips with Pringles. When walking by machinery that happens to be making a noise resembling a drum, … Continue reading The Chocolate Fountain of Youth

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Sh*tting Tree

As I make the move to take my relationship with writing from “dating ” to “engaged”, I have discovered insomnia has adopted the role of “Annoying Wedding Planner”. Do all writers have insomnia? Until I changed my diet in 2012, I hadn’t slept since Junior High. But I was very happy to kiss my steady date with 3 am goodbye. Apparently 3 am missed me. … Continue reading The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Sh*tting Tree

Talking to Johnny about talking to Johnny

When I was a kid, I used to fall asleep to the sound of “The Tonight Show” (starring Johnny Carson) drifting in from the living room. At age 10, not only did I have a huge crush on Johnny Carson, I also knew I wanted to be famous.  I would lay in bed and fall asleep while having imaginary conversations with Johnny. Our conversations were … Continue reading Talking to Johnny about talking to Johnny