Day Three at The Fairview Inn: The bathroom door in this room occasionally just opens. Which is spooky enough. But before it opens, it knocks three times. The last time it did that, I commented, “That’s wicked spooky. No, wait. That’s wicked wicked.” Cute boy, “Nope. You can’t use the wicked twice. It’s all-inclusive.” Continue reading Wicked Haunted
Second morning at The Fairview Inn: My eyes were still closed when I heard the cute boy mumble, “It’s wicked hot in here.” (giggle). I opened my mouth to croak, “Hey Siri!” No response. Louder, “HEY SIRI!” Still nothing. Remembering I had turned the volume down on my phone, I continued, assuming Siri had heard me, “Turn the ceiling fan the right direction.” Nothing. The … Continue reading Wicked Siri
First morning at The Fairview Inn: Our room faces east, so I woke up at 4:54 to catch the 5:06 sunrise. I stepped out onto the balcony…into the rain. There was no sunrise, but I stood there anyway, taking in the sound of gentle waves lapping against the rocks. Three seagulls entered from the left like crazy fighter pilots. I recognized the familiar seagull “yell” … Continue reading Let’s Be Frank
When I was 18, I ran away from home (yes, I realize that at 18 it’s not really “running away”, but stick with me). Mom and I had butted heads since I was 13, and I had reached my limit. Our family was stationed at Malmstrom AFB in Great Falls, Montana at the time. I had a friend pick me up and take me to … Continue reading The Best ID
In other news… I wonder what percentage of Nyquil is purchased in the middle of the night Continue reading Subber Code
Tuesday morning began like any other. Except earlier. And without food. I opened the front door to a gorgeous morning. After a few days of rain, I welcomed the warm rays of sunshine and happily descended the stoop to start my day. One tiny bit of unpleasant business first, however. I walked down 9th Avenue toward 14th Street. I had a doctor’s appointment. I had … Continue reading Killer clowns, a skort and Jose
This is for someone who is going through a difficult time. I use the word difficult like I know what it means. But in this case, I do not. You are going through something unimaginable to me. To most people. You are a writer. So you write about it. About life. About your feelings. You put yourself out there. And I see you. I know … Continue reading Therapy
Dear Tom, Thank you for becoming famous. Thank you for your words. Your music. Thank you for knowing what I was going through growing up, and thank you for making your songs so timeless that it helps me through my days, even now that I’m older. And thank you for making me NOT feel older. This morning I am learning to fly. I am dancing … Continue reading Sometimes I’m Petty
I am not funny. I am not funny. I am not funny. Okay, I may be funny. But this morning I’m just not feeling it. I’ve had the title to this particular blog tucked away for months. And I’ve written it in my head a dozen different times. There are subtle variations, but the theme is always the same. I’ve been blogging for a … Continue reading The Best Toast Ever and a Green Velvet Dress
I’m short. I’ve always been short. I stopped growing shortly after 5th grade. My boobs happily took up the slack. But I’ve spent my life reaching for everything. At the grocery store, I’ve climbed lower shelves to reach items on the top shelf. I’ve gone in search of employees to grab cartons of milk beyond my reach in the refrigerator. I had to ask for … Continue reading How High?
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