There are certain memories that belong to a specific age group. Going to Woolworth (remember the Five-and-Dime?) to pick out my lunch box before school began in the fall.  Typically metal, but occasionally vinyl, one’s “cool factor” was often determined by what television show was depicted on the outside of that box.  Your cool status could also be boosted by the addition of any type … Continue reading Pee-stained memories

I lost something today. I didn’t even realize it was lost until someone asked about it.  When was the last time I saw it? Yesterday. I looked for it in the last place I saw it, and it wasn’t there.  I asked a couple other people who might know, but didn’t hear back from them. And then I panicked.  It was ALWAYS where I could … Continue reading Lost and Found

9:30 pm: Arrive home (thirty minutes AFTER my pre-planned bedtime) to a house with at least 2 hours of chores waiting for me. For those of you who are thinking, “Wow! She’s my hero!”, read on… 9:30 – 10 pm: Spend 30 uninterrupted minutes feeling sorry for myself. 10 pm – Midnight: Watch 4 back-to-back episodes of “Yard Crashers” (all the while, feeling sorry for … Continue reading Fast Times At Sleepless High

I haven’t even left the house this morning… and already I’ve whacked my head on a cabinet door, stepped on my own toe (I didn’t even know that was possible!), and choked on my own saliva. Now I’m paranoid that maybe I’m out to get me. Continue reading Accidentally Human Part V

Last night I fell asleep with you lying on my chest. I dreamt about you all night, and when I rolled over this morning, there you were…waiting for me. I love that I was able to steal a few minutes with you before breakfast…and you made me late for work.  Again. I have to admit, you’ve been on my mind all day – I can’t … Continue reading Sweet Distraction

Then: Pay $12 for a ticket (for big shows, go to Tower Records and camp out on the sidewalk to get a wristband). Now: Get online and go to Stub Hub to get decent seats from scalpers (Ticketmaster sucks.  There, I said it.) Then: Arrive super early to stand in line until the doors open, then race to the front of the stage and sit … Continue reading Concerts Then and Now

Everybody sing along! Shade tree and breezes and drinks from cool hoses, AC and box fans and pies Eskimoses, Oceans and rivers and lakes and cool springs, These are a few of my favorite things! Sprinklers and ice cream and Popsicles frozen, Snow cones and wading pools I’ll dip my toes in, Dash down the street when the ice cream man rings, These are a … Continue reading Summer Singalong

She stood outside the movie theater and looked up at him.  She knew his face.  It was the face of her best friend. It was dark and chilly, and the night would end soon.  She shivered, but instead of pulling her jacket tighter, she reached inside, and then inside her sweater, and then inside her chest.  She wrapped her hand around her heart, and slowly … Continue reading Reinventing Duncan

A yawn just took over my face. Like, TOOK OVER. Straight out of National Geographic. Or maybe X-Files. Somewhere, Tim Burton is jealous. Continue reading Accidentally Human Part IV

I’m sitting at gate B-5 at LaGuardia Airport, waiting to fly home to Dallas.  I originally booked this as a 2-day trip to see Myles Kennedy in concert.  I added a day.  I added Doofenshmirtz.  Then added another day.  Then I changed the departure flight time from morning to evening of our final day so that we could have more time in the city.  This … Continue reading French Whore with 2 Barf Bags