The past few days have been a whirlwind. I am so tired at this moment, but I have so much in my head. All of the words that want to find their way to my fingers and into the laptop. Maybe the words are motivated enough, that if I lay my head down on the laptop, rather than my pillow, they will fall out of … Continue reading undeserved
This is the story of how I spent the night in Six Flags Jail. What, you say? You didn’t know there was a Six Flags Jail? Well, there is. And here is the story of how I landed there. First, a little background. My biggest fear as a child was throwing up. I didn’t do it very often, so the longer I went without barfing, … Continue reading Incarceration: The Ride
Saying you read Playboy for the articles is like saying you watch porn for the soundtrack. Continue reading Brown Chicken Brown Cow
Doofenshmirtz and I were reminiscing about the time I sent her to summer camp at the Flying G Ranch (local Christian camp) for horse riding lessons. She was 7. During a group meeting, one of the counselors took it upon himself to inform the kids that Santa Clause wasn’t real. (Yes, Virginia, there ARE assholes!) But this guy took a different tack than simply saying, … Continue reading Camp Anawanna Know The Truth
Just dropped my cell phone in guacamole. Didn’t notice until I answered a call. There’s gotta be an appropriate hashtag for that… Continue reading Accidentally Human Part VIII
So I connected my iPad to a Bose speaker via Bluetooth (I’m tech savvy like that), and put it in the bathroom so I could jam out while I showered. Maiden voyage: I chose the playlist “Purchased Songs” (which is pretty massive), and clicked “shuffle” (yes, I realized the risk, but I felt the Gods of Shuffle would be ever in my favor). I tapped … Continue reading How Long?
Right hand. Middle finger. Top joint. The side next to the pointer. There is a callous. I bet that if you are between the ages of 45 and death, you have a similar callous. Unless you are a lefty, so it’s on your left middle finger. Or if you were one of those weirdo kids who held their pens funny. I made fun of you … Continue reading Nature’s Bubble Wrap
The view from my window is different. I’m typically not a fan of change. So I did not change rooms with an open mind. But as I stretch out across the bed, in the tiny room, with the air conditioner cooling my feet, I stare out into the space between the buildings. In the morning, water drips in front of the window from an unknown … Continue reading Fireflies and other distractions
Whatever happened to socks with little balls at the heel? That was a great invention! Continue reading No balls
Funny thing about being a grown up… we don’t always realize our fears. When we are children, we are clear about what frightens us. The dark. What is IN the dark. What is under the bed in the dark. The rational and irrational. I had a conversation with a friend recently about how fears (and other stuff) may just be built-in. Imprinted on our DNA … Continue reading Room With a View
Random Pimientos 